Self Control is such an important skill for children and adults, and one that we need to be successful in life.  We often expect our kids and students to practice self-control, but we don’t necessarily teach them what it is and how do use it.

I recently shared some activities with a small group of teachers and thought I’d pass it along here as well.

First, of, all, what is self-conrtol?  In simple terms, I like to explain that it’s our ability to control impulses and respond to the world around us, to think before we act, and to delay our gratification (insert obligatory Marshmallow test video clip here for buy-in and cuteness factor).  Self-control is important for our own well being, our relationships with others, and our roles in society!

I also like to mention that it’s important to remember self-control is not something we are born with…(ask my 1 year old), but instead we develop it as we grow.  In fact, kids start developing self-control in elementary school, and kids with learning and attention challenges take even longer!

So, how can we as educators teach and support self-control so that our students can use it?

• Develop clear expectations:  Kids love defined rules, and they need to know the expectations and parameters so that they can adjust their behavior within them.
• Help kids develop affective vocabulary, their emotional vocabulary because we need to be able to express our feelings in words (or pointing for nonverbal kiddos).  When I design cool down stations in classrooms, I always put a visual for emotional vocabulary there.  I also like to use this all day long, as much as I can.  I even do it with my kids at home…and my 3 year old loves to tell me when I’m making her “frus-tur-ated”.
• Play games that integrate self-regulation skills.  I will share my favorites below.
• Allow time to play and practice!  There is no better way for kids to practice self-regulation than to play on their own or with others.

Here are my favorite activities to teach self-control.  These can be done in small groups or in the classroom!  For all of them, I like to do the activity, and then have my kiddos reflect on questions like What is self-control?  What does it mean?  What are some other times you can have self-control (examples:  when you are in the hallway you see a friend you don’t run up and high-five him, you stay in line-how?? Self-control!)

• Self-control bubbles:  Who can resist popping bubbles, right?  First, start out by not saying anything but starting to blow bubbles towards students, and letting them react naturally.  Most likely, they will get excited, and start popping them.  After a minute, tell them that the next time you do it, they cannot, under any circumstances, pop a bubble…even if it lands on their nose!  Blow bubbles at them again, and have them practice their self-control!
• Balloon float:  In a circle or rug time, divide up the students into two groups (ideally every other child).  Have a balloon blown up, and challenge the students to keep the balloon up in the air for as long as possible…but only one group can touch it at a time…then switch so the other half of the students have a turn.  Reflect on how hard it is not to hit that balloon when it’s right near you, but not your turn…self-control!
• Peanut Butter & Jelly ball:  This one is a challenge.  Have students sit in a circle, and have 2 balls.  One will be the “peanut butter” ball…it can only be thrown, and the other will be the “jelly” ball…it can only be rolled.  Start with one, and then add in another…students have to use self-control to keep track of both balls, but remember to only toss or roll…challenging!

I love using these games in small group and classrooms to teach students about self-control and self-regulation.   Other fun games that teach and promote it are: Red Light Green Light ( for a twist or older kids, add more commands such as backwards, purple etc.), Freeze Dance, Simon Says or Jenga.

So there you have it-my favorite tips for teaching and promoting self-control .  What tips do you have?